Guruji’s Stand-Up Comedy Show

 

Guruji’s Stand-Up Comedy Show – 16, September 2025 | Guruji Daily Masala News,  Breaking, Trending, Comedy & Happiness!

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

🙏🤣 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin 🤣🙏 🎙️ – Special Edition 🌍✨

👉 “Achieve greater integration among forces: PM to Def Min”
😂 Guruji: Oh yes… integrate the forces, but please don’t mix Army band with DJ remix! 💂‍♂️🥁🎶

👉 “Ruling on validity of Bihar SIR will apply pan-India: SC”
🤣 Guruji: One Supreme Court judgment = free nationwide delivery! 🚚⚖️📦

👉 “SC accepts SIT report, gives Vantara clean chit”
😅 Guruji: Clean chit? Must be sponsored by Surf Excel! 🧼👕✨

👉 “Toxic air blackening Red Fort walls”
🤧 Guruji: Red Fort turning into Black Fort… soon Shah Jahan’s ghost will demand a repainting contract! 👻🏰🖌️

👉 “Lower Edu And Higher Fertility Linked”
😂 Guruji: No education, but lots of population… textbooks missing, but extra notebooks (kids) arriving! 📚❌👶✅

👉 “Only 45% of students feel ready for life beyond school”
🤣 Guruji: The other 55% still think life = lunch break + sports period! 🍱⚽📒

👉 “Opposition taking out yatras to save ‘illegals’ in Bihar: Modi”
😜 Guruji: Political marches = free WiFi + free sweets for crowd control! 🚶‍♂️📶🍩

👉 “WPI inflation swings into positive zone”
😂 Guruji: Prices are rising, but our salary is still stuck in negative zone! 📈💸😭

👉 “US, India may seal gaps in trade talks”
🤣 Guruji: Seal the trade gaps, but don’t seal Guruji’s comedy flow! 😆🗣️🔓

👉 “Parliament House Complex to Get Security Upgrade”
😅 Guruji: Please add lie-detectors at the entrance… half of Parliament will be stuck outside! 🏛️🔐🤥

👉 “We are what we are because of others’ kindness”
😊 Guruji: Exactly! Even Guruji survives only because the tea shop owner is kind enough to give me credit! ☕❤️🙏

😎🎤 Guruji’s Stand-Up Comedy Show: Tamil Nadu Politics Edition 🎭✨

(Imagine Guruji on stage with mic, veshti folded, audience full of laughter)

👉 On Tamil Nadu politics
😂 Guruji: In Tamil Nadu, parties don’t change leaders… leaders change parties like people change SIM cards! 📱🔄

👉 About promises
🤣 Guruji: Election promises here are like Jallikattu bulls 🐂… hard to catch, and if caught, they disappear in dust! 🌪️

👉 On freebies
😅 Guruji: Politicians give free TV, free mixer, free grinder… but never free current bill to run all that! ⚡📺🍲

👉 About rivalries
😂 Guruji: In Tamil Nadu, one party says “We are the sun 🌞,” the other says “We are the rising sun 🌅.”
Guruji says: Ayyo, please! Just give us electricity without power cuts! 💡😜

👉 On speeches
🤣 Guruji: Tamil Nadu leaders speak for 3 hours straight… audience claps only at the point where biryani is served! 🍛👏

👉 On alliances
😅 Guruji: Political alliances here are like Kollywood movies 🎬… full of suspense, drama, and sudden twist endings! 🔄🍿

👉 On leadership style
😂 Guruji: Some leaders say, “I am people’s servant” 🙏 … but they travel in convoy with 50 cars 🚔🚘🚨.
Guruji says: If this is servant, then please adopt me! 😂

 

👉 On voters
🤣 Guruji: Tamil Nadu voters are smart — they take freebies from all parties first… then vote for whoever promises free Wi-Fi next! 📶😆

🎤 Guruji’s Closing Line:
“Politics in Tamil Nadu is like sambar 🍲— every party adds its own masala, but we the people have to eat it daily!” 😂👑

Choose happiness today and every day

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

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Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi -  KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️