GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day" 😄

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🛍️ Modi’s gifts carry spiritual legacy & folk artistry abroad
🧘‍♂️🎁 Guruji says: “Modiji not only exports diplomacy, but also lamps, sacred threads, and traditional drums! Next up: ‘Incredible India Handicraft Export Scheme – Powered by Blessings’ 😂🙏🎨”

👨‍⚖️ Opposition united in SC on Bihar SIR: ‘Will snatch lakhs of votes’
⚖️😤 Guruji: “Opposition in Supreme Court is like a WhatsApp group before elections – very active now, completely silent after results! 😂📱📉”

🔋 Can’t let critical minerals be weaponised: PM
💣🔋 Guruji: “Critical minerals are not your ex-girlfriends, bro! Don’t let them explode later! 😆⛏️🧨”

👶🚨 Major Crimes Against Minors: 5 Arrests Daily For Child Abuse
😭🚔 Guruji gets serious: “This is not comedy, this is a tragedy! Arrest them, shame them – no mercy! 🚫👿👊”

🚢🌊 Kerala ‘arrests’ sunken vessel, seeks ₹9,531 cr for pollution
⚓️😱 Guruji: “Arresting a sunken ship? Kerala police next level! Soon they might issue a notice to the Titanic! 😆🛳️🚓💸”

🤐 Congress questions PM Modi’s silence on Trump’s India-Pakistan ceasefire claims
🧏‍♂️🎤 Guruji: “Modiji is silent like that one uncle in your WhatsApp group who only forwards good morning pictures 🌞📵… but when he speaks—breaking news alert! 📺😂”

🇺🇸🇮🇳 Trump says US to seal major trade deal with India soon
💼🫱 Guruji: “Trump ji sealing deals like a wedding priest – ‘The auspicious time is near, start buying gold!’ 💍😅🧾”

🎤🗳️ Edappadi K Palaniswami kicks off AIADMK campaign for 2026 polls
🚜📢 Guruji: “EPS is back with his 2026 remix tour: ‘Please Vote 2.0’ – now with 50% more promises and zero expiry dates! 😆🎶🗳️”

🛂🇨🇳 China extends visa-free entry to more than 70 countries
✈️🤔 Guruji: “China is like – ‘Come in for free, and stay for a surprise!’ 😂🎟️ But Guruji recommends: always go with a return ticket! ✈️🔁”

🔥⚔️ Trump again claims he stopped 'big' fight of nuclear powers India and Pakistan
💣🤷‍♂️ Guruji: “Trump stopping nuclear war? Guruji also once stopped World War 3… in his dream! 😴😂🧠💥”

💵🤝 Trump says US 'very close' to a trade deal with India
📞📦 Guruji: “Very close? Like you’re close to your crush – lots of talking, zero results! 😂💔📊”

📢 That’s all for today’s Guruji News Bullet Train 🚆🤣
👉 amazinglifeblog.com

🎤 Guruji’s Comedy Wisdom of the Day – Served Hot & Spicy! 🌶️🤣

🧠 "If life gives you lemons… squeeze them on pakoras and enjoy the moment!" 🍋🍽️
👉 Overthinking won’t solve your problems, but snacks might help for a while! 😂

💪 "Success is like your neighbor's Wi-Fi – visible, but password protected!" 📶😩
👉 Don’t keep watching others… work hard, unlock your own network! 💼📲

😴 "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man… miss all the late-night gossip!" 🛌📢
👉 Sleep is good, but some juicy stories happen after 10 PM! 😂☕

💰 "Money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy coffee, and that’s almost the same thing!" ☕😄
👉 Guruji's tip: If you're sad, grab a filter coffee before you start a revolution. ☕🧘‍♂️🔥

👔 "Bosses are like clouds… when they disappear, the day becomes brighter!" 🌥️😂
👉 Just nod your head in meetings. Your salary depends more on your smile than your skill. 😅💼

😂 Stay tuned for tomorrow's Guruji Gyaan Shots — full of wisdom, wit, and Whatsapp-worthy one-liners!

See you tomorrow – till then, keep smiling and keep earning! 💸🌞

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

👉Amazinglifeblog.com! 😂📿 ✨😎 📰🤣 🧘‍♂️

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️