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GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 



GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🤣📢 Guruji’s Comedy News Bulletin – Today’s Spicy Masala with Mindful Fun! 🍿🗞️
Powered by Tea, Twitter & Tension! ☕🐦💥

😂📣 Guruji’s LOL Comedy Bulletin – 7th July Edition! 🎙️🚨
Where serious news meets dancing drama with a spicy twist! 🥳📰

🕵️‍♂️ “Condemning terror should be principle, not convenience” – PM
Guruji says: “Terrorism is not a buffet, dear! 🍛 You can't pick and choose what you like! Either take the full plate or nothing! 🚫💣”

 

🏢 Postal Dept may exploit real estate commercially – Scindia
📬 Guruji: “Postman uncle turning into property dealer now? Next time, with the letter, you might get a brochure for 2BHK! 🏠📦”

🎭 Serial killer held after 24 years with new identity
Guruji: “This guy changed more names than a soap opera hero hiding from the police! 🎬😵‍♂️ Identity update level: Pro!”

🎂🌳 Dalai Lama’s birthday under tree that grew from his walking stick
Guruji: “Even his walking stick became enlightened – 'I have now become a tree!' 😇🌳🪄 Spiritual gardening 101!”

🌍 BRICS backs India on terror & UNSC reforms, slams tariffs
Guruji: “BRICS said – ‘No entry for terrorists 🚫, and throw unfair taxes straight out of the stadium!’ 🏏💣💰”

👮‍♂️ 91% of TN cops say ‘custodial torture’ sometimes necessary
Guruji: “Guruji says – Hey! Torture is not therapy! 😵‍♂️💢 Try yoga, not batons! 🧘‍♂️👊 Peace is more powerful than pain!”

💰 Trump vows 10% tariff against BRICS-aligned countries
Guruji: “Trump is playing Tax Lagaan – ‘Give 10% more!’ But no cricket here, only trade drama! 😤💸🧾”

🧨 PM Modi at BRICS: 'Nations supporting terror must pay the price'
Guruji: “Modiji dropped the mic 🎤🔥 – ‘If you support terror, your bill is coming soon – with interest and GST!’ 💣💸📉”

🚢 17 warships, 9 submarines await approval
Guruji: “Even warships are in the approval queue now! Indian Railways says – ‘Try urgent booking!’ ⛴️📝🙈”

🚆 Railways rescued 16K runaway minors in 1 year
Guruji: “Indian Railways has turned into Sherlock Holmes! Even CID’s ACP Pradyuman is impressed! 😮🕵️‍♀️🚨”

🤣 Trump calls Musk's America Party ‘ridiculous’, says doomed to fail
Guruji: “Trump to Musk: ‘Your new party is like my hair – wild, weird, and definitely not winning!’ 🎉👱‍♂️🧨”

🛑 Guruji’s Final Wisdom:
“Politics and movies are the same – drama, villains, climax, and full on attention-seeking! 🎭📺 Just don’t forget your popcorn! 🍿😄”

🌞😄 Guruji’s Morning Wisdom Shots – With Full Comedy Tadka! ☕🎉
Start your day with gyaan, giggles & a dash of madness! 😎📿

🧠 1. “Don’t take life too seriously… even your alarm clock laughs at your goals!” ⏰😂

💼 2. “Get up, dress up, and show up… unless your bed gives you a good reason not to!” 🛏️👔🙈

🥴 3. “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy… and very cranky by lunchtime!” 😤🍽️💤

📱 4. “Checking your phone first thing in the morning is like inviting 37 problems into your head before brushing!” 📲🧠🚽

🚿 5. “Cold shower in the morning = Instant enlightenment or mini heart attack! Choose your path, my child!” ❄️🚿🧘‍♂️💀

🍵 6. “Tea is proof that God wants us to wake up without throwing chappals at people.” ☕🩴😇

😌 7. “Meditation is great… but sometimes shouting into a pillow works faster!” 😤🛏️🧘‍♂️

🥦 8. “Eat healthy today… so you can survive to eat biryani tomorrow!” 🥗➡️🍗🤤

📆 9. “Each morning is a gift… that you wish came with a return option!” 🎁📦😩

💪 10. “Remember: If Plan A doesn’t work… there are 25 more letters! But first, have coffee.” ☕🅰️🅱️😜

😂 Guruji’s Guarantee:
One laugh in the morning = 3 hours of good mood + 50% less desire to slap people at work! 🤣💼✋

🙏 So friends, remember – whether the news is spicy or serious, Guruji’s punchlines will give you a dose of laughter! 😂📿
See you tomorrow – till then, keep smiling and keep earning! 💸🌞

🧘‍♂️ Remember – don’t take stress… Guruji’s Bulletin is here to bless! ✨😎

Come back tomorrow for more news served with samosa and sass! 📰🤣

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

👉Amazinglifeblog.com

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️


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