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GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 



GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🚨 GURUJI COMEDY BULLETIN 🤣🍿
🗳️ Samik Bhattacharya elected West Bengal BJP Chief
👉 "Now TMC is 'left to God', and BJP is 'left to Samik'! United fight or united night party?" 🥳👊🧨

🌍 India-Ghana elevate ties to comprehensive partnership
👉 "After 30 years, India finally dialed Ghana? Looks like foreign friendship is also like an old school crush!" 📞🌴🤝

🚗 80% Delhi vehicle owners against fuel ban on old vehicles
👉 "The vehicles are old, but Delhiites’ love for them is even older!" 😤🚘💨

🏢 Luxury penthouses back in demand among super-rich Indians
👉 "Common people eat on EMI, and these folks want a helipad on their terrace!" 🤑🚁🥂

💰 50% of houses sold now cost over ₹1 crore
👉 "1 BHK = ₹1 crore. If you get a bathroom, consider it a jackpot!" 🚽💸🤯

💣 Operation Sindoor causes 328% surge in defence spend
👉 "Sindoor is supposed to be used in weddings, but this one exploded in the budget!" 🔥💄💣

🏅 IOC to India: Improve governance, anti-doping, and performance
👉 "Olympics officials said – ‘Forget hyper patriotism, first climb the scoreboard!’" 🏋️‍♂️📉⚠️

🛣️ Gadkari: Indian highways will match US highways in 2 years
👉 "In just 2 years, potholes will turn into portals! Even GPS will get confused!" 🚧🇮🇳➡️🇺🇸

⚖️ National Herald case: ED calls it a classic money laundering model
👉 "ED says – This is a better script than anything on Netflix!" 🎬💼🕵️‍♂️

🇪🇺 Dreamy European vacations now a tourist’s nightmare
👉 "Expected luxury, got long queues, lost baggage and Google Translate struggles!" 😱🎒✈️

📈 India's economy likely to grow 6.4–6.7% in FY26
👉 "GDP is hitting the gym – getting bulkier, but six-pack abs still missing!" 💪📊😅

🏘️ Premium homes with fancy amenities in high demand
👉 "Today, people buying homes check: Is there a swimming pool? A gym? Drone pizza delivery?" 🏊‍♀️📦🍕

💹 India's growth justifies high valuation: BlackRock
👉 "Foreign investors say – Money is safest in India… but for common people, only memes are safe!" 😬💵🤣

🙏 🌞 Guruji’s Gyan for Today – 4th July 2025 🌞 🙏 😄🧘‍♂️🎉

🧠 "Life is like a Wi-Fi signal – full bars when you're alone, but disappears when you need it the most!" 📶😂

✨ Today’s Wisdom Shots by Guruji: 🏢💼🤣

1️⃣ Don’t chase people, chase your peace.
2️⃣ Love your work, but don’t marry it.
3️⃣ Health is real wealth.
 Stop scrolling, start strolling.
👉 Instagram will wait. Your knees won’t. 🚶‍♂️📴

💥 Guruji’s Reminder:
"Don’t be serious all the time, even Lord Krishna danced while giving life lessons!" 🕺🎶

Don’t take stress from the news – take some laughs instead! 😄🧘‍♂️
Follow the highway of humour – it’s toll-free!

💥 See you tomorrow with a fresh serving of spicy headlines and comedy pickles! 🌶️📰

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 


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