GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day" 😄

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🎤 Guruji’s Global Giggling Gyaan – Today's News with Tikka & Takkar! 😂🇮🇳

🪙 RBI's Financial Inclusion Index Hits 67!
👉 Guruji says: “RBI is including everyone—except me in their WhatsApp group! 😤📉 But no worries, I’m financially excluded but emotionally rich!” 💸❤️

🏭 Factories Start Humming with Festive Frenzy
👉 “Even factories are singing Diwali songs now – next up, robots doing garba and machines asking for Diwali bonus!” 💃🤖💥

🪂 Opposition Claims Deeper Exit Reasons
👉 “They’re not quitting politics, just going for a long tea break… with no return ticket!” ☕🚪🏃‍♂️

🧠 Had No Info About Congress’ J&K Protest – Omar
👉 “Omar’s Wi-Fi must be down... or Congress forgot to CC him on revolution!” 📵📧😅

🎥 Delhi to Become Hub for Destination Weddings
👉 “Get ready folks—shaadi ka mandap next to Parliament, and sangeet night in Rajghat!” 💒🇮🇳💃

🇮🇳🤝🇬🇧 India & UK Set to Sign Free Trade Pact
👉 “From masala chai to English breakfast—both sides trading taste and taxes!” ☕🍳✍️

🕳️ Zero: The Divine Nothingness
👉 “Guruji taught maths once… 0 marks. Still divine. Shiv blesses even our exam papers!” 🔥🧘‍♂️😆

🇮🇳🔊 India Shames Pakistan at UN
👉 “Preach peace, fund terror – Pakistan’s double role beats Bollywood villains!” 🎭💣😠

🌊 Maldives Seeks India’s Help to Fight Narco-Terror
👉 “India: Beach holiday plus anti-terror ops. Maldives: Thank you, now pass the sunscreen!” 🏝️🕶️💊

🥇💰 Gold Climbs, Silver Hits Record High!
👉 “My wife’s jewellery now richer than my life savings… and her mood swings match gold prices!” 🥴👑📈

💫 Guruji's Final Thought:
“Politics is drama, economy is karma, and wedding planning is now national policy! Stay tuned, stay funny!” 😄📺🧠

Guruji's Punchline Parade – Wisdom with a Wink! 😄🎉

Can't change it? Drop it like a hot samosa! 🔥🥟

Some folks misunderstand just for cardio. Let 'em jog on! 🚶‍♂️💨

Draw your boundary like Lakshman Rekha—with no guilt, only style! 🚫🎨

Gossip is like roadside chaat—tasty but toxic! Avoid! 😷🍲

Gratitude is your daily immunity booster—zero calories, full power! 💪🙏

Say “NO” like a boss, not a doormat! 🙅‍♀️👑

Nature is free therapy. Trees don’t judge, they just shade! 🌳😌

Hang out with calm folks—they’re the WiFi of peace! 📶🧘‍♂️

Forgive like a saint, but never forget like Google! 😇🔍

Don’t run behind people—you're not a bus conductor! 🚌❌

Clutter outside = chaos inside. Clean it like it owes you rent! 🧹🧼

Be kind to yourself—your mind is always listening! 🧠💖

Less scrolling, more living. Even your thumb needs rest! 📱😴

Not everyone will like you. Even paneer has haters! 🧀🙃

Trends fade. Purpose stays. Choose wisely, fashionista! 🕶️🎯

📣 Guruji’s Darbar will never run out of content! 😂👑

👉enjoyhumour.blogspot.com 😇📢

👉amazinglifeblog.com! 😂📿 ✨😎 📰🤣 🧘‍♂️

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️