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GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 



GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day" 😄

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🎤 🕺Guruji’s Comedy Darbar – Today's News, Filter Coffee Style!☕🇮🇳

we are placing greater emphasis on living longer, healthier lives.
Sure! Here's Guruji’s Comedy News Bulletin in English — with masala! 🍿📢😆

📰 Guruji’s LOL Headlines – Today's Bulletin 😂☔🎤

🧘‍♂️ PM Opens Monsoon Session With Call For Unity After ‘Operation Sindoor’ Victory
👉 Guruji: “Finally, some ‘Red Alert’ that’s not about rain but ruling! 💄👑 Parliament now smells like kumkum & conflict!”

📱 It’s for Real! AI is Making Phones Smarter & Costlier
👉 “Phones now know your secrets, swipe your wallet and ghost you faster than your ex! 💸🤖📵”

⚖️ Court slams Sidda Govt for targeting Tejasvi
👉 “SC to Karnataka: Don’t mix politics and police cases – it's not a biryani! 🍛⚖️”

📜 SC to SP: ‘You forgot law when in power?’
👉 “Guruji: Power comes with amnesia... and a VIP convoy! 🚓💼⚡”

📽️ Trump posts fake video of Obama’s ‘arrest’
👉 “Trump Productions presents: ‘Mission Delusional 7’! 🍿🎬 Next episode – Obama fights aliens?”

🌧️✈️ AI Jet Overshoots Mumbai Runway in Rain
👉 “Even AI couldn’t handle Mumbai monsoon mood swings! ☔🛬 ‘Pilot: AI, fly! AI: Bhai, I slip!’”

🎭 ED Summons 4 Top South Stars in Online Betting Scam
👉 “From box office to courtroom – real drama begins post-intermission! 🎬⚖️💰”

🏫 2 Odisha Teachers Held for Harassing Girl
👉 “Guruji: Shame! Teachers became ‘preachers of perversion’ – Send them to detention in hell! 🔥📚🚫”

🏦 RBI Tightens Digital Banking Norms
👉 “Next time your UPI fails, blame not the WiFi – blame RBI’s new ‘Yoga tight’ security! 🧘‍♂️📉💳”

🚪 Dhankhar’s Exit May Trigger Big BJP Overhaul
👉 “Guruji: One man walks out, 10 chairs shuffle! BJP playing musical chairs with microphones! 🎤🔄🪑”

🗳️ Mamata Banerjee Says ‘No Bihar-style voter list revision’
👉 “Guruji: She won’t allow voter remix version! It’s ‘Original Cast Only’ in Bengal Elections! 🎭📋🙅‍♀️”

🌟 Guruji’s Daily Soul Drop:
👉 “When you stop pretending to be wise, your truth speaks. When your soul whispers – put down Instagram and listen! 🙏📿✨”

💪 Soul Fitness Gyaan:
🧘 “Strength is Life 💥, Weakness is Death ☠️. So daily meditate, hydrate, and dominate! 😌💧🧠”

🧬 “We’re not just living longer – we’re living funnier (with Guruji’s bulletin)!” 😂🧓🎉

📢 Guruji signs off:
“Tomorrow’s headlines already sweating! Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay sarcastic! 📺🕶️”

Here's Guruji’s Wisdom Thoughts on Happiness in Life – in English, with flavour, fun, and depth. 🌞😄✨

🌈 GURUJI’S WISDOM ON HAPPINESS 😇

"Happiness is not a destination – it’s your default setting, just needs a reboot!" 🧠🔁

Stop chasing it outside – it's sitting inside, sipping chai. ☕💛

"If your smile needs a reason, your soul needs a reminder!" 😊🪞

Laugh like a child, not like someone is watching you on CCTV. 🎥😆

"Don’t wait for perfect moments – make weird ones joyful!" 🎈🎉

Even a power cut can be romantic if your heart has light! 💡❤️

"The richest person is not the one with most money, but with least complaints!" 💸🚫

Gratitude is your free subscription to happiness – auto-renew daily! 🙏📆

"Comparison kills joy faster than poison!" ☠️📱

Their vacation in Maldives? Nice. Your coffee on balcony? Peaceful paradise! 🌴☕😌

"Happiness is not in having more – it’s in needing less." 🧘‍♂️

A peaceful nap beats a noisy Ferrari! 🛏️🏎️💤

"Surround yourself with people who make you laugh like an idiot!" 😂👯

Drama-free friends = lifetime free therapy. 🛋️💬❤️

"Forgive quickly, laugh loudly, and love without calculator." 💞🧮❌

Life’s too short to carry emotional luggage – fly light! ✈️🧳💨

"Simplicity is the secret sauce of lasting joy." 🍲✨

Less clutter in your room = more clarity in your mind! 🧹🧘

"The soul smiles when the ego shuts up." 🤫🕊️

Ego says, “Me first.” Happiness says, “Us together.” 👥💫

📿 GURUJI’S FINAL NOTE:

“True happiness? It’s not loud. It’s the silent smile after a deep breath, a kind act, or a moment of peace.” 🌅😊

💡 Guruji’s Tip:
"Happiness is not found. It’s felt. So stop searching and start smiling!" 😁🎶

📣 Guruji’s Darbar will never run out of content! 😂👑

👉amazinglifeblog.com! 😂📿 ✨😎 📰🤣 🧘‍♂️

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 


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