GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

😄 GURUJI PRESENTS — LOL NEWS BULLETIN WITH MASALA🍿🕺

🧳 In fresh blow to international students, Trump admin plans ‘fixed periods of stay’
🎓 Guruji says: “Trump is now running a guest house – stay fixed, go fixed! No overstay, no free snacks!” 😆🇺🇸🚫

💣 India reserves right to pre-emptive strikes on terror: Rajnath tells US
🕶️ Guruji: “Pre-emptive strike = India's version of ‘knock knock… BOOM!’ 🔥💥 Just like sudden mother-in-law visits!” 😜👵

🏛️ Senate passes Trump’s ‘big, beautiful’ bill 51-50
💸 Guruji: “The bill is passed, but the result? A big, beautiful mess is on the way!” 🤹‍♂️💰🤷‍♀️

💻 PM: Digital India bridges divides
🖥️ Guruji: “Digital India is like Wi-Fi… sometimes connects hearts, sometimes just keeps spinning!” 😅📱❤️

💼 Ahead of elections, cabinet approves ₹1 lakh crore scheme for 3.5 crore jobs
💸 Guruji: “A tsunami of jobs! But Guruji wants proof – not speeches, actual job offer letters!” 😜📃🖊️

📊 PM: GST served as a powerful growth engine
🚂 Guruji: “It may be a growth engine… but many small businesses feel stuck in general class without AC!” 🚆📉😂

 

⚖️ Crime where State killed its own: HC on Tamil Nadu custody death
🚔 Guruji: “When protectors become predators, even the law cries: ‘What kind of cruelty is this!’” 😢⚖️🔨

🕵️‍♂️ Under pressure, CM Stalin hands over probe to CBI
🧯 Guruji: “When the political fire gets too hot, pass the investigation to someone else! CM now playing ‘CBI pass-the-parcel’!” 🔥🍢📂

⚓ Navy’s blue-water capabilities get a double boost
🌊 Guruji: “India’s Navy is now like a full-action hero — stylish even in the ocean!” 💪🚢🌐

☕ Coffee could add years to your life – only if you drink it right
🥴 Guruji: “Black coffee = youth potion ☕✨. Add too much sugar and cream? Congratulations — sweet but short life!” ⚰️🍭💀

🛡️ India has right to defend; partners should understand: EAM Jaishankar at Quad meet
👊 Guruji: “Jaishankar’s style = calm on the outside, powerful on the inside! Like a diplomat with superhero moves!” 🕶️🧠💥

📜 New criminal laws people-centric for justice: HM Amit Shah
👮‍♂️ Guruji: “Now criminals can’t escape — unless they use VPN, incognito mode, and grow fake mustaches!” 😂🔍🎭

🙏 Guruji’s Final Thoughts:
“Politics, policy, and press conferences – don’t forget your popcorn... unlimited drama guaranteed!” 🍿📺🇮🇳

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️