Choose happiness today and every day
Amazing Life Daily: GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN
😎
🧙♂️😂 GURUJI’s
COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎
Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️
📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢)
I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest
news with a dash of humour!
😄
👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.
🔥…
news will always bring the masala!
🌶️📺
"Choose
happiness today and every day"
🇺🇸 1. Elon
Musk could face ‘serious consequences’ if he backs Democrats
“Guruji
laughs: Musk backing Dems? Trump says you'll lose your Mars pass—no space
joyride! 🚀🔒”
2.
Musk taps a third party, America Party, then backs down in battle with Trump
“Guruji
smirks: Musk tried the ‘America Party’—then ghosted it faster than a Tesla on
Ludicrous Mode! ⚡👻
🇨🇦 3. Other G7 members keen on seeing
Modi’s participation, hints Carney
“Guruji
quips: Modi at G7? Like sending your superstar to a tech fest—world ready for
desi power! 🌏🇮🇳
💸 4. Repo rate cut brings early
Diwali cheer for consumers
“Guruji
smiles: RBI’s rate drop is Diwali in June—wallets dancing garba already! 💰🪔”
🛕 5. Maha Kumbh sparked ₹500 cr tax surge in UP
“Guruji
laughs: Pilgrims bathed in Ganga, UP banks bathed in tax money! Bath + cash
combo! 💦💰”
⚖️ 6. Can’t club terror-backers with
victims: EAM to UK’s Lammy
“Guruji
jokes: Mixing them? That’s like putting chutney in your coffee—ultimate taste
disaster! ☕❌”
🏦 7. RBI opens happy hour window,
borrowers can pack a picnic basket
“Guruji
teases: RBI’s happy hour means borrowers go full picnic—not sipping whiskey! 🧺📉”
✅ 8. Extreme poverty rate falls to
5.3% from 27.1%
“Guruji
cheers: Poverty’s dropped like my winter weight! Bye-bye belly, hello cheer! 🎉📉”
🌊 9. Our dangerous blindness to the
ocean
“Guruji
warns: Ignoring oceans is like ignoring monsoon rains—catastrophe ahead! 🌧️⚠️”
🔥 10. Indian Ocean warming fastest,
turning against us
“Guruji
quips: Indian Ocean’s heating faster than my pressure cooker—someone turn the
knob down! 🧯🌡️”
💼 11. Foreign investors
under-invested in India by a trillion dollars
“Guruji
jests: They skipped investing? Probably missed India’s IPO because they snoozed
the alarm! 🛎️💤”
🎓 12. Mukesh Ambani gifts ₹151 cr to ICT as ‘Guru Dakshina’
“Guruji
says: Ambani’s guru dakshina—big zeroes, big love! That’s mentorship
up-leveled! 💸👨🏫”
🩺 13. Fake cardiologist performs 50
surgeries at Faridabad hospital
“Guruji
laughs: Fifty fake heart ops? Sounds like a magic show — “Now you see a heart,
now you don’t!” 🫀🎩”
🥗 14. Embrace a nutrient-rich diet
for youthful health
“Guruji
advises: Eat veggies like the rainbow—they’re nature’s glow-up filter! 🌈🥦”
🧘 15. Practise
mindful eating for long-term wellness
“Guruji
muses: Mindful eating? So when your plate’s empty, you actually celebrate the
silence! 🍽️😌”
🎊 16. MONUMENTAL SHIFT: 269 million
lifted out of poverty; rural poverty drops
“Guruji
exclaims: 269 million people lifted! That’s bigger than my jumbo samosa stash! 🥳🥟”
🚫 17. India’s zero-tolerance policy
against terrorism
“Guruji
asserts: Zero-tolerance—like locking fridge at night so midnight samosa-stealer
is caught red-handed! 🥟🔐”
🚆 18. Vande Bharat Express maiden
trial run on Chenab Bridge
“Guruji
praises: Vande Bharat soaring over Chenab—railways doing daredevil with
elegance! 🚄🌉”
📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji
guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉
~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙♂️😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜
🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂
🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
Stay
connected with amazinglifeblog.com—where news
meets positivity! 🚀✨
Thanks
for reading, 🚀 ! 🌟
KaMaRaJ 🌈🤗❤️
vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com
Please visit my website: amazinglifeblog.com
aitamilnadu.blogspot.com
& erkamaraj.blogspot.com for Mind blowing
articles.💡
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