GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

😎 🧙‍♂️😂 GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🌞 Guruji's Comedy Bulletin – Peace, Paise & Passenger Panic! 🛕🎤

🕊️ Israel & Iran say “Shanti Shanti” – US becomes marriage counselor!
➡️ Guruji says: “12-day war over! Now they fight only over who gets the last piece of hummus! 😜🍽️🕊️”

🇮🇳 India welcomes ceasefire, offers to ‘play its part’
➡️ Guruji: “India ready to mediate ✋—as long as tea, samosa, and respect are served hot! ☕🛕🍛”

💸 Rupee zooms 77 paise in a day!
➡️ Guruji: “Even Rupee needs a gym now! Lost weight and gained respect in one day! 💪💰💃”

⚖️ ‘Where fear is, justice cannot be’: Remembering Justice H. R. Khanna
➡️ Guruji: “Fear is temporary, but bold judges are forever! 🙏📜⚖️”

🌧️🚗 No more monsoon jams! NHAI unveils highway plan
➡️ Guruji: “Finally, monsoon driving won't feel like boat race practice! 🚤🌊🏞️”

🚆 Train fares going up from July 1
➡️ Guruji: “Indian Railways: First you stand in line for 3 hours, then pay more to stand in train! 🚉💸🧍‍♂️”

✈️ DGCA audit finds worn tyres, faded runways, broken simulators
➡️ Guruji: “Even toy planes from childhood had better parts! ✈️🎮😬”

🛫 Doha, Dubai airports in chaos, flyers stuck!
➡️ Guruji: “People went for holiday but got free membership to Airport Bigg Boss! 🤯📦📺”

🚨 Air safety violations in major airports
➡️ Guruji: “Looks like pilots need divine blessings more than flight plans now! ✋🛬🙏”

📅 Indira Gandhi Centre to mark 50 years of Emergency with events
➡️ Guruji: “Emergency turned 50! Still no candles… only controversy! 🎂⚠️📢”

⚖️ No FIR against Justice Varma? MPs ask why!
➡️ Guruji: “MPs want FIRs like popcorn – one for everyone! 🎬🍿🚓”

🌍 Flights resume to Gulf & Europe as airspaces reopen
➡️ Guruji: “Airlines shout “We’re back!” – passengers reply, “We never left the airport!” ✈️🛑🙈”

🕊️ Peace is a pillar of the world – without it, chaos!
➡️ Guruji: “Yes yes, but peace also needs Wi-Fi, AC, and filter coffee to survive! ☮️📶❄️☕”

🪖 Army buys Rs 1,981 Cr worth of counter-terror gear
➡️ Guruji: “Terrorists, beware! Indian Army now upgraded to Mission Impossible level! 🔫🎯🇮🇳”

🌞 Guruji’s Morning Wisdom for Happiness 😄🌼

🧘‍♂️ Today Guruji drops truth bombs coated with ghee and sprinkled with halwa logic!" 😂🍯

🌸 Wake Up Before the World Wakes You Up!
If you rise before sunrise, you'll shine like one too! 🌅
(Late risers, don't worry – even the moon has fans! 🌙😆)

🙏 Start Your Day with Gratitude, Not Grumbling
Say thank you before you say "where’s my coffee?" ☕😅
Gratitude is the remote control of your happiness. 📺❤️

😜 Smile at Yourself in the Mirror – Even if You Scare Yourself!
Laughter is internal dry cleaning for the soul. 😁🪞
Smile like you own shares in Colgate! 😂🦷

🍋 Accept Life’s Lemons — But Also Demand Salt and Soda!
Make nimbu soda, not drama! 🤪🥤
Problems are just plot twists in your happiness movie. 🎬💫

🕺 Do One Thing Daily That Makes You Silly Happy
Dance like no one's watching (or like your Wi-Fi is off!) 💃📵
Happiness is not a location, it's a daily subscription! ✅🎉

🧠 Don’t Overthink – Brains are for solving, not stewing!
Too much thinking = mental biryani! 🍲😖
Use your head wisely – it’s not a pressure cooker! 🤯💥

📿 Guruji’s Final Blessing: 🤣📱✨

🌻 Be happy. Be silly. Be YOU. 🌻

"Whether it's rupee rising or tyres bursting… stay calm, chant 'Om Peace Namah', and always check flight status twice!" ✈️🕉️📱

Happy.. Happy.. Haha Happy! 😇🧘‍♂️😂

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

👉 Amazinglifeblog.com

Yours,

📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️