GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 

🤣📢 GURUJI COMEDY BULLETIN – Powered by Lemon Rasam & Laughing Gas 💥🍋

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧨 "Iran is no pushover" – Israel learning it the Biryani Bomb way!
👉 Guruji says: “Next time don’t poke the kebab unless you’re ready for the spice level 1000! 🌶️💥🇮🇷🇮🇱

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧾 Census in 2027 – MHA says, “We’ll count you when you’re older!”
🧓 “By the time they knock my door, I might be a great-grandpaji! 👴📋🔍

News 👓 🎭 📢)

💎 India hits jackpot! Mineral wealth discovered during war drama!
💰 Guruji: “While others are launching missiles, we’re mining missile-grade minerals! Ka-ching! 🇮🇳🤑🪨

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🌍 World split in two: Team Iran vs Team Israel – like IPL but with nukes!
🎭 “Guruji waiting for umpire UN to show a red card to both teams! 🟥🌐⚖️

News 👓 🎭 📢)

 

👨‍💼 G7 leaders meet in Canada – but everyone’s gossiping about West Asia!
☕ “It’s like calling a PTA meeting and only talking about neighbor’s fight! 🍁🗣️🤷

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🔫 J&K terrorism clean-up drive – L-G gives green signal to security forces!
🎯 Guruji: “Mission: No More Boom-Boom in Paradise! 🔫🕊️🌄

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🏛️ Anbumani: ‘We’ll also rule in 2026’ – Sounds like group project announcement!
📚 “Guruji’s crystal ball says: First win the exam, then dream of becoming class monitor! 🤓📊

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🚧 Tiruchy folks to politicians: Stop rallies, start respecting traffic signals!
🚦 “Even cows move faster than VCK rallies! Moo-ving protest ahead! 🐄🚗🛑

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧠 TN to offer mental health help to NEET floppers – finally, a syllabus for feelings!
💔 “Guruji says: It’s NEET to care for mental marks too! 🧠📉❤️

News 👓 🎭 📢)

👮 Madras HC to ADGP: ‘Go directly to jail!’ – Monopoly card turned real!
🎲 “When karma arrives wearing a judge’s coat and holding an arrest warrant! ⚖️🚓😲

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🔍 FATF angry over Pahalgam attack – threatens ‘microscope-level’ checks!
👁️‍🗨️ “Guruji: “Now even terrorists will need to pass KYC!” 🔎💳

News 👓 🎭 📢)

 

✈️ Israel says it rules Tehran sky – but air still smells of tension!
☁️ “Guruji: ‘Air superiority' = flying high while falling in public opinion! 🎈🛫👎

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🍏 Apple’s new ‘Apple Intelligence’ – smarter than my cousin Ramesh!
📱 “Coming soon: iPhone that reads minds and dodges relatives’ calls! 🍎🧠📳

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧾 Robert Vadra summoned by ED – Season 3, Episode 74
🎬 “Guruji: This ED-Vadra series running longer than Saas-Bahu serials! 📺🎭

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧓 Young retirees doing more than ever – from TikTok to trekking in Ladakh!
🥾 “Today’s youth retires at 40, then starts career as full-time Insta Yogi! 📸🧘‍♂️🎉

News 👓 🎭 📢)

📣 Guruji’s Thought Bubble: “In today’s world, minerals are found underground and logic is buried even deeper!” 😎🪤

😄 For more rasam-fueled reality checks, stay tuned!

📢 Stay tuned tomorrow for more missile-free mirth and global giggles!
😎🙏 — Guruji signing off with shanti and sarcasm! 🧘‍♂️📜💬

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

Guruji 🧙‍♂️😇📢

Thanks for reading, 🚀  🌟

KaMaRaJ 🌈🤗❤️

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