Choose happiness today and every day

GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🌞 GURUJI COMEDY BULLETIN 🌞
 🍿😂 Presented with full josh, fewer missiles & maximum masala! 🍿😂

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧨 Bombardment, strikes, deaths in third day of Israel-Iran conflict
🔴 GURUJI SAYS: “They wanted fireworks, but forgot peace is not a Diwali cracker! 💥🕊️”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🌍 PM Modi, Trump to join world leaders in Canada amid Iran-Israel conflict
🌎 “GURUJI’S TIP: When two neighbours fight, invite them to a global potluck! 🍁🍲🛫”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

💸 Israel just hit Iran’s wallet
💳 “Forget nukes... now it’s a credit score war! 💣➡️💰➡️💸➡️💤”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🕊️ Trump: Iran & Israel should make a deal, will make a deal… like India-Pak
🧠 “GURUJI ASKS: What’s common between India-Pak & Israel-Iran? Answer: ‘Talks on talks on talks’ 📞➡️📞➡️📞😂”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🛰️ Israel’s Operation Rising Lion reveals Iran’s nuclear secrets
🔭 “Iran: ‘Nothing happened.’ Satellite: ‘LOL bro, I have screenshots! 🛰️📸🕳️’”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🛑 Trump vetoed Israel’s plan to kill Khamenei, say US officials
🤷‍♂️ “Even Trump said: ‘Let’s not turn politics into PUBG!’ 🎮👀”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

👮‍♂️ Shah praises Yogi for hiring 60k constables ‘sans bias’
🧙‍♂️ “GURUJI WONDERING: Did they use AI? Or just chai? ☕🤖📝”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

☢️ Ayatollahs may love the bomb more
💣 “Love is blind... especially when it glows in the dark! 💘🔥🚫”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

📩 Accusations fly over Kavitha’s letter to BRS supremo
✉️ “Postman of politics tired… Says: ‘Sir, so many letters. Where is my peace?’ 📮📉😂”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

💨 Karnataka tops wind power capacity in India
🌬️ “Bengaluru’s breeze now officially certified as power-packed gossip! 💨⚡☕”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🍏 Apple vendors cross 20% domestic value addition in India
📱 “From Made in China 🍎 to ‘Kinda’ Made in India! Jai ho, 20% Swadeshi! 🇮🇳🔧📦”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🧾 Govt plans to amend refund provision in Income Tax Bill 2025
💸 “GURUJI’S CAUTION: ‘Refund will be smoother… unless your PAN card also took vacation! 📉🏝️’”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

💥 Pakistan’s Rafale downing claim rubbished by Dassault CEO
🛬 “GURUJI SAYS: ‘Next time Pak will say: We downed Superman too!’ 🦸‍♂️📉🇫🇷”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

💍 A dream wedding for Bezos in Venice? Locals say NO!
🚤 “Even rich people can’t book the whole Italy. Venice said: Amazon, abhi delivery nahi! 🚫🎻💒”

News 👓 🎭 📢)

🛫 Trump admin memo lists 36 countries for new travel ban
🌐 “GURUJI’S FREE ADVICE: Before packing your bags… check if you’re banned or branded! 🧳🚷🕵️‍♂️”

 

📢 Stay tuned tomorrow for more missile-free mirth and global giggles!
😎🙏 — Guruji signing off with shanti and sarcasm! 🧘‍♂️📜💬

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙‍♂️😇📢

Thanks for reading, 🚀  ! 🌟

KaMaRaJ 🌈🤗❤️

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