Choose happiness today and every day

GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

😎 🧙‍♂️😂 GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️

 

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.

"Choose happiness today and every day"

 

From politics to paisa, India to the world – everything delivered with a smile and a spicy twist! 🌶️📰

Because news should not only inform your mind, but also tickle your funny bone! 🧠😂 🎭📢

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 

GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 PRESENTS comedy punchline edition with emojis for the news headlines — served with masala and mirchi! 🌶️😄👇

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🧠🇮🇳 India set to become tech powerhouse, says Modi
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Soon our jugaad will come with software updates! 💻🔧🚀

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🛩️⚠️ Boeing’s safety record comes under scanner, again
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Boeing engineers be like—“Gravity is just a suggestion!” 💥😬🛠️

News 📢) 👓 🎭

💸📉 160cr down the drain as Sidda bins ’15 caste report
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: That’s not a report, that’s a sponsored bonfire! 🔥🧾💰

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🤝🇮🇳🇨🇦 Modi-Carney meet chance to find ways to reset ties: Govt
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Ctrl+Alt+Delete for diplomacy... rebooting foreign policy!

🔁🖥️🍁

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🛢️📉💱 Oil jumps & slips, dollar dips to lowest in 3 yrs
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Oil’s doing Zumba, and dollar is on a diet! 🕺💃💵

News 📢) 👓 🎭

✈️⚔️ Chinese jets fly as close as 45 metres to Japan patrol planes
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Next time they might exchange pani-puri mid-air! 😲🍽️🛩️

News 📢) 👓 🎭

 

🕊️🇮🇷 Trump says would love to avoid Iran conflict
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: Trump wants peace... but with background music and a photo-op! 📸📜🤞

News 📢) 👓 🎭

☢️🚨 UN watchdog: Iran fails N-obligations for 1st time in 20 years
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : Iran skipped homework and now teacher's calling parents! 📚📞😵

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🪪💳 Trump teases ‘Gold Card’ for US residency again
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : American dream now comes with cashback offers! 💳✨🗽

News 📢) 👓 🎭

😡🏴‍☠️ No one’s forgotten Pak sheltered Osama: India
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : Pak’s guest list always shocks the neighbours! 😠👀📜

News 📢) 👓 🎭

🇨🇦📝 Canada invites foreigners for PR in new Express Entry round
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : Canada to world: “Why cry in your country, when you can freeze in ours?” ❄️🥶🎟️

News 📢) 👓 🎭

📲💼 Influencer marketing set to grow as 92% of brands adopt it
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢: From toothpaste to tractors – all need dance reels now! 🕺📱🧴🚜

News 📢) 👓 🎭

📉💵 Rupee plummets 56 paise to 86.08 against dollar
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : Rupee took a free fall challenge... and nailed it! 😵🪙📉

News 📢) 👓 🎭

👩‍⚖️🗳️ Modi govt committed to 33% reservation for women: Gadkari
GURUJI 🧠😂 🎭📢 : Ladies, it's not just pink tax anymore – it's pink power! 💪👸🏽📊

 

 

Want a daily dose of Guruji's punchline bulletin delivered with sunrise chai vibes? ☀️☕ Let me know!

😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙‍♂️😇📢

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vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com

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