Choose happiness today and every day:GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

                Choose happiness today and every day

Amazing Life Daily: GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN

 

😎 🧙‍♂️😂 GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️

 

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢)

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.
Because the world may burn 🔥… but news will always bring the masala! 🌶️📺

"Choose happiness today and every day"

 

From politics to paisa, India to the world – everything delivered with a smile and a spicy twist! 🌶️📰

Because news should not only inform your mind, but also tickle your funny bone! 🧠😂

So get ready – let’s dive into today’s headlines, the Guruji way!” 🎭📢

 

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

 

🌞 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Guruji Presents: The LOL Sabha Bulletin 🌞
🧘‍♂️ Only yoga can do it! 🧘‍♀️
PM Modi said: Yoga is not just physical exercise — it’s your inner Wi-Fi, connecting body, mind, and soul! 📡🧠❤️
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Doing yoga in the morning makes you flexible… and your excuses stretch too! 😂🧘

 

🌟 You attract positive energy...
🥹 “Challenges aren’t roadblocks, they’re speed bumps on your highway to greatness!” 🚧🚀
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂: Inner peace is like Wi-Fi… stronger when you're close to your purpose! 📶✨

 

👸 Men remember the woman who brings peace…
💃 Not the one who brings 117 missed calls and 33 voice messages at 3 AM! 📱🙉
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Be the Wi-Fi signal he never forgets — strong, steady, and peaceful! 📶❤️

 

🇮🇳 PM Modi declares:
“Talks with Pakistan? Only about Pakistan-occupied Kashmir! No trade with terror — water and blood don’t flow together!” 💧🩸
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Guruji says — if someone throws stones at you… throw slippers of truth and diplomacy! 🩴😎

 

🏭 Tamil Nadu isn’t just making dosas — it’s cooking India’s economy spicy-hot! 🌶️💰
⚙️ 11.9% of India’s manufacturing GDP & more factories than tea shops!
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂: Tamil Nadu is the only place where even machines do Sun Salutations! 🏭🧘‍♂️

 

🚀 Errol Musk (Elon’s dad) is loving Sanatan Dharma and Lord Shiva! 🔱
He’s coming to Ayodhya — not for a rocket launch, but for spiritual recharge! 🧘⚡
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Tesla’s battery is nothing compared to Lord Shiva’s cosmic power bank! 🔋🌌

 

🛡️ Russia offers India the S-500 air defense system!
Putin says: “You liked S-400? Wait till you try the upgraded version!” 🎬💥
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : India’s air defence now has more layers than your grandma’s winter blanket! 🎯🧣

 

🇨🇳 China blocks UN action against Pakistan-based terror groups!
Shashi Tharoor enters: Calm. Polished. Armed with big English words. 📚🎤
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : When Tharoor speaks, even Google says, “Let me get a dictionary!” 🧠📘
He doesn’t shout — he shuts down lies with logic! 💥📏

 

🔥 CDS Gen Anil Chauhan roars:
"India won’t live under fear or nuclear blackmail!"
Pakistan’s 48-hour plan collapsed in 8 hours — folded like yesterday’s laundry! 🧺😆
Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : They planned 2 days of drama — we replied faster than pizza delivery! 🍕💨

😂🔥 Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Presents: “Rugul Gandi Special” – Comedy with No Brake, Only Mistake! 🔥😂

🎭 1. Guruji says 😎 🧙‍♂️😂:
"Rugul Gandi is like a WhatsApp forward — travels everywhere, makes no sense, and still gets attention!" 📲😅

 

🎓 2. Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 IQ Analysis:
Scientists tried to measure his political IQ… but the machine said, “404 — logic not found!” 🧠🚫

 

🧭 3. Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Travel Update:
He has toured more countries than he’s attended Parliament sessions! ✈️🌍
Punchline: Passport full, attendance sheet empty! 😂📖

 

🗳️ 4. Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Election Forecast:
When Rugul campaigns, opposition gets tension…
Because now they might win by too much! 😜🏆

 

📚 5. Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 History Lesson:
Rugul once said, "Maggi invented India’s freedom struggle!"
Guruji replied: "Beta, read a book — not just the noodle wrapper!" 🍜📖

 

🎤 6. Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Debate Moment:
Reporter: "Sir, what’s your view on inflation?"
Rugul: "Inflation is like love… it rises and falls… but mostly confuses me!" 😵💘
Guruji Punchline: Nobel Prize for Confusion goes to… 🏆🎪

 

🧘 7. Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Spiritual Tip:
Even meditation apps say: Avoid negative energy — and Rugul speeches after dinner! 🧘‍♂️😬

 

📢 8. Guruji's 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Final Thought:
He may not be PM material……but he’s great material… for comedy reels! 🎬😂💯

 

😂📰 Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Presents: LOL Nadu — Tamil Nadu News with a Twist! 🌞🤹‍♂️

🏭 TN Factories Update:
Tamil Nadu has the highest number of operational factories in India!
Even Chennai traffic is a manufacturing unit — producing new swear words per minute! 🚗🗯️

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : TN doesn’t just make idli and dosa… it makes GDP rise like hot pongal! 🍚📈🔥

 

📢 Political News:
Politicians in Tamil Nadu are so active, even the auto meter gets confused:
“Going straight? Left? Right? U-turn? Oh wait — drama turn!” 🚦🎭

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Every TN politician should get a Filmfare Award — for best non-fiction fiction! 🎬🏆

 

🌊 Marina Beach Alert:
Tourists love Marina Beach, but locals say:
"Come for the breeze… stay for the bhajji and sudden rain attack!" 🌧️🍤

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : If your hairstyle survives a trip to Marina… it's ready for any cyclone! 💨💇‍♂️

 

🛵 Chennai Traffic Edition:
Latest news — a man reached 60 years of age… while stuck at T Nagar signal! ⌛🚦

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Chennai signals don’t change with time… they change with mood! 😂🕰️

 

🤖 Techie Zone - OMR Update:
In OMR, everyone is either a techie or pretending to be one.
“Hi, I’m working in IT!”
“But you’re selling tea?”
“Still... ITea sector!” ☕💻

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : In OMR, even dogs bark in Python code: “Woof.py!” 🐕👨‍💻

 

🚌 TN Bus Logic:
Chennai buses come like surprise tests — no timing, no warning, full pressure! 😰🚌
You blink — it leaves. You run — it skips your stop. You pray — it stops… 1 km away!

Guruji 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 : Bus conductors here give more attitude than my ex during exams! 😎💔

 

🎤 Guruji’s 😎 🧙‍♂️😂 Final Thought:

Don’t be a magnet for drama — be a projector of peace!
Because in the end… even your Wi-Fi prefers silent mode! 🔇📶😄

Tamil Nadu is the only place where filter coffee ☕ gives you more energy than a motivational speaker!
And the gossip on local autos? Better than Netflix shows! 📺🛺

📢 "Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!" 💥🎉

~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙‍♂️😇📢

 

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vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com

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